But here are the top ten countries in the world with the most divorces: first place is taken by Russia, second-by Belarus, third — by Ukraine, then Moldova, the Cayman Islands, the United States, Bermuda, Cuba, Lithuania, the Czech Republic.
Most of them are countries of the former Soviet Union. Interestingly, these countries were not on the list of the worst before 1990. Since the 90s, there have been more and more divorces. Not only did the Soviet Union fall apart, but families also began to fall apart.
What contributed to this situation?
Rik Renner, the pastor of the Moscow Evangelical Christian Church “Blagaya vestia”, believes that the economic situation has become more complicated at this time. Everything was a continuous deficit, low wages, and sometimes the lack of them. My parents had to work harder and spend less time with my family. The expert said that people who have divorced, the children of perestroika. The largest number of divorces in children of divorced parents.
“In the Bible, in the book of Malachi Chapter 2: 16, it is written: “For I hate divorce,” says the Lord. In General, there are very few places in the Bible where the word “hate”is used. God hates any sin, but at the same time very much loves every person, including the sinner,” says the pastor.
— Why does God hate divorce so much?”
— God created man, he created physical and spiritual laws. And from the moment of creation, they have not changed, and God has not changed his attitude towards them. As it is written in the Bible that God is the same yesterday and today and tomorrow, he does not change, he is not subject to the influence of mood, as a person. God’s actions are logical, unlike the behavior of many people.
God has never changed his attitude toward the family. He said that a man will attach himself to a woman, and they will be one. And the whole cannot be divided painlessly, without damage. The consequences of divorce are very serious and harmful to women, men, and children. That’s why God hates divorce.
Divorce is a sin. God forgives divorce but does not approve.
— Most people think that divorce is a personal matter, and it only affects two people.
— Anyone who has survived a divorce knows about its harmful effects on their children. They suffer even more than adults. If you analyze the families of many generations where there have been divorces, you will see that divorces are repeated from generation to generation. This is because parents leave their children not only a material inheritance (house, property, Bank accounts, jewelry), but also a spiritual inheritance. It is more important and can be different: some convey blessings, others-curses. As with material inheritance, parents leave the spiritual inheritance that they have themselves.
— So if the parents are divorced, then the children are doomed?
— In Deuteronomy 5: 10, it is written that up to the 3rd generation suffer for their sins. But you can break this chain by saying NO to divorce, by saying YES to each other for the rest of your life. The power of two people’s consent works here.
Today, young people are getting married to wrongly. Initially, they have an incorrect installation. They think: it won’t work, we’ll get a divorce.
If you know families who have lived together for many years, you can ask them the secret of their lasting family. There may be different answers. But one of them will be present at all — they did not allow divorce in their thoughts. It was a word that had NEVER been uttered in their family, even as a joke. NEVER! But this does not mean that their families did not face various problems. They just solved them because they knew they had to live together for the rest of their lives.
Everyone during the marriage ceremony pronounces an oath of fidelity to each other. But most people do not pay attention to this and forget after 2 minutes. It is good to remember the promises made to each other in front of a huge number of witnesses in moments of life’s troubles.
— Do the divorce statistics differ between believers and atheists?
— If both husband and wife regularly attend Church services, you can be 65 percent sure that they will never divorce. These are usually people who have a spiritual commitment to remain faithful to the Lord and their spouse.
The power of the Church, the culture of the Church, affects them. When you are in the Church, you can win. And if you are one hundred percent committed to God, then you can be one hundred percent sure that you will not get a divorce. The idea of divorce is not acceptable if you are dedicated to God.
— How exactly does divorce affect children?
— This influence is only negative. There is a sleeping effect. It seems that the children are all right. But later these consequences catch up with them. People after divorce can not find a place in society, in the Church. They love God, but they cannot find themselves in service. They are going through a divorce. Their hearts are filled with pain, sorrow, and they are broken. These people should be accepted and shown the love of God. They need help, they need to recover. And their children are also suffering.
Consequences after divorce: anger, sadness, depression, aggression. From an early age, children experience stress, they feel less parental care. Parents think more about how to survive, and children feel it. This has a negative impact on school performance.
Children whose parents are divorced have a harder time adapting to society. Studies that have been conducted for 10 years show that children are still full of sadness, they face health problems, they feel worse.
They are 300 percent more likely to face emotional problems. They feel betrayed, abandoned, and at the age of 20 they experience the same experience of their parents ‘ divorce. They try to build their relationships but fear betrayal. That is why they often live in a civil marriage, and the memory of their parents ‘ divorce is still vivid for them.
They have a worse psychological state. They don’t get full satisfaction from life. These children believe that divorce can be a solution to problems. They have sex earlier, are more likely to commit offenses, and are afraid that they will make mistakes as parents.
As a rule, they occupy a lower social position in society, they have lower earnings, they love their parents less, and communicate less with them.
Now do you understand why God hates divorce? What Jesus hates, we must also hate. Divorce is a disaster.
If you knew that there are terrorists on the street who threaten people’s lives, you would be on guard. So know that divorce is a terrible terrorist. Be alert, stay awake!
— Family relationships are so complicated. Where can I find the key that will help me keep my love alive into old age?
— There is a power to stop the succession of divorces so that it is not passed down from generation to generation. Jesus gives this power. But this does not mean that your marriage will be perfect. You just have to remember that there is no way to leave the submarine – you need to swim together to the pier. You have voluntarily joined for life.
The best foundation for a good family is initiation. When you dedicate your life to your spouse, this decision strengthens the marriage. And even if not all the moments are happy. You must develop in the marriage, fight with your selfishness. You must be loyal to each other. And even if the other person changes over the years — you must love him, it is still the same person you married, whom you loved. Your marriage is precious in the eyes of God and in the eyes of men.
Remember about your children and grandchildren — what you sow, they will reap.
You can’t undo what you did in your past life. But you can start again today by making the right decision. You have to be loyal to your family. If there are difficulties in the family and you feel unhappy — ask for help from specialists, or from those who have a strong good family, who know from their own experience how to cope with problems and keep warm relations in the family